These days you are a tumbleweed of endless energy and curiosity. I wake up, and face the challenge of finding ways I can occupy your day, so that when the lazy heat of the summer afternoon closes in on us, you will topple into your bed in nothing but your princess-pullup, surrounded by a cloud of misfit stuffed animals, and sleep for a blissful hour.
Our day passes in busy bursts: as we rush to the potty when you’re crossing your legs; in distracted meandering: as we change your dress three times because apparently toddler girls are the most indecisive females on the planet; and grinding halts: as you throw yourself on the floor of Target because I won’t buy you a $50 Sophia doll.
And then there are the moments when time freezes, and I have a stunning instant of clarity that makes our stumbling days of toddlerhood distill into an emotion that gives purpose and reason to the craziness of our lives. LOVE.
When I cuddle you in our bed in the morning as your wild wheat hair spreads across my pillow and you murmur a string of senseless words and songs–your breath smelling of cheerios and your smile full of mischief and daddy, time melts away, to do’s scatter like confetti, and my purpose lies snugly in the circle of my arms.
It makes me want to collect as many of these beautiful moments as I possibly can, the way you collect rocks wherever we go. Somehow you find beauty in even the dull, muted ones.
Today as we were walking, I saw you with your eyes squeezed shut and nose chasing the wind. I asked you what you were smelling, and you responded, “pretty blooms and green leaves.” It made me stop, and laugh in surprise, and sniff the air to take in the smell of grass, and leaves, and yes…pretty blooms.
I realize that when I look back on my life I’m not going to count the number of crusty egg pans I scrubbed clean, or the number of passes I made across the carpet with my vacuum. I will cherish the lazy cuddles in an unmade bed, impromptu dance parties, kisses on pretend booboos, and pushes on the swing.
You remind me that when I take a moment to stop and smell the pretty blooms, my days reveal a lot more purpose, and my heart has room for a lot more love.